Saturday, December 14, 2013


Say I pay land taxes, and these in turn pay for an armed man or men to walk around and make sure everyone is being nice to everyone else. Or give him a call and he’ll come right out.

Now let’s say I grow plants on my land. For the sake of argument, we’ll say “normal” herbs and spices. Nothing weird or extravagant, just the basics; basil, thyme, rosemary, that sort of thing. Personally, I doubt ANYONE could use up even ONE herb plant per season, unless that person ran a food oriented business.

So. I’m using land I OWN and STILL paying the gubmint to live on, and I have a hobby. My hobby produces excess produce, which I, being the generous and giving individual that I am offer a partnership with the aforementioned food oriented businessman. I give him quality herbs, he lets me eat at his establishment.

Of course, now, with a ready supply of herbs and spices, he makes better dishes, and charges a little more. Now this is a PARTNERSHIP (we shook hands and everything). So instead of me eating at his place, we agree to him giving me, say $5.00 dollars a week. I make his life a little better, he in turn reciprocates. (I was getting tired of the same menu all the time anyway….)

And I understand that people want to stay healthy, so, every now and then, someone comes around for lunch and looks in the kitchen to make sure it’s clean. And when this person sees the cook’s nice bundle of fresh basil, asks where he gets it. Just curious. Dabbles in the kitchen himself, and might like to give me a looksee.

So after lunch, he drives out to my place, decides he would like a nice supply of fresh herbs in his kitchen and asks if I only use “organic” soils and fertilizer.

Well of COURSE, doesn’t everyone? So I walk him back to my compost heap, pitchfork a little bit of it around and ain’t nothin’ in thar but a bunch of bullshit and some leftover lawn trimmins’. He sees I’m an upstanding guy and don’t use no “humanure” in my dirt and asks if I’ll sell him a couple of different herb plants. Hell, the damn things pretty much grow themselves, and I surely have enough plants. Why not? So we agree on a fair price for exchange and we shake hands and that’s the end of it.

Everyone is happy, right? These are good herbs, “no shit”. My restaurant friend’s food tastes better and my reputation has gone up. Now I know there’s a chance the guy who wanted to see my “operation” might try to make a deal with the restaurant guy. Okay. We call this free enterprise. I got good produce, and ain’t afraid of a little competition. And shoot, the guy may really just want to set them on his kitchen windowsill. Some of these herbs are downright pretty. What he does with them after he’s paid me for them is HIS concern, not mine.

There’s only one thing missing. The HUGE hand written sign that says “I don’t sell to no revenooers”.

Can you spot the mistake? That’s right! I used the word SELL. A word known to automatically attract the gubmint likes flies to a shitpile.

I make an honest living, work a regular job, and pay my taxes. This is a HOBBY that I enjoy. But I used the “S” word. Using your abilities to make the world a better place (or in my case tastier…) and if ya make a buck or two on the side, all to the good. Right?

This seems like a simple concept to me. I pay the guy down the street who raises cows for some of their poop. I grow plants that I sell to someone else, who in turn uses them to increase the quality of his product. If the guy who sold me the poop came around and told me the guy using my herbs had the nastiest kitchen in the world, I’d go talk to my friend the restauranteur, and let him know that we are in this together. If he don’t clean the kitchen, folks don’t buy his food, and we BOTH lose money. He lets me know his sister is sick and she usually cleans up around the place, but he’ll try to keep it neat til she’s feeling better.

This is how the government should be. People working with people. True, we might have an irreconcilable argument every now and then. Someone acts up. Not really a problem. If I, the poop guy, and the restaurant owner thinks something isn’t as it should be, we hold a town meeting. If someone gives a half a crap about the town they live in, they show up and participate. If not, they don’t get a say-so. This is the government in action. It’s also AMERICA.  Or what she “used to was”….



Xeno out

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