Sunday, July 19, 2015

Hoard for the horde

I know,  I ain't been around much. Things are rough all over...

My sister came in from Utah this past week,  and yes,  she is a devout Mormon. (Don't get me started!). So I went down to my brother's where she was staying during her visit,  and after the required hugs and "you look goods", her husband asked me what all I had on my ridiculously large key chain.
Nothing unusual, I get asked that a lot. Nothing fancy though: small knife,  fishing kit,  duct tape,  small screwdriver set,  flint,  striker,  electrical tape,  tinder pack, sewing kit, floss,  paracord, snare wire, med kit, and even keys.
He asked if I were planning for the end of the world?
Nope.  Just anything that might come along where I needed a bandaid or something... This is my every day carry shit,  as well as a multi-tool,  belt knife, phone,  couple of bucks, and of course, my wallet.
Being Mormons,  (don't get me started! ), he started going on about how they have a basement stocked with enough food and water for a year if things get bad.
Now keep in mind, this guy can't change a tire,  and I'd be afraid to hand him a screwdriver as he'd probably put an eye out trying to figure out which end goes on the screw. But like a good little Mormon,  (don't get me started!), he has obeyed his church's (valid and smart) edict to be prepared to take care of his family for a year or more if the fecal matter splatters the rotational oscillating atmosphere adjuster.
However,  he lives in Salt Lake City. Nice house, nice neighborhood,  two car garage and all the trimmings. No guns or self defense training.  In the middle of The Marauder Mecca. There's probably enough hoarded food in that city alone to feed America for a decade!
He is overwhelmingly confident that he will be perfectly safe if anything happens,  as he is surrounded by like minded good little Mormons,  (DON'T GET ME STARTED!) and everything will be hunky dory in his little world until things go back to "normal" and golden unicorns start flying out of all the surviving sheep's collective asses.
When, not if, the shit hits the fan, I'm going to miss him and my sister.  Hopefully they'll go quick and not suffer. Damn shame about all that wasted hoarding though.
I don't have my homestead up to par yet, but I'm working on it. Rabbits,  goats,  chickens,  ducks, pigs, small garden I plan to grown on yearly (pun intended,)  a natural screen of bamboo to keep from prying eyes, alternate heating,  and a reliable source of water. And rebuilding my arsenal as well as practicing my bowmanship and sling proficiency.
Will I and my wife survive the imminent collapse of our country?  Probably not. At this point it's just the two of us, and we're no match for a gang of marauders. But at least I'm being realistic.  I see no reason to stockpile a hoard for the hordes.

PS: Should of got a load of my brother in law's face when I showed him my get home bag out of my trunk...!