Thursday, May 29, 2014

Some guys couldn't get fucked in a flophouse with a fist full of fifties.

That doesn't mean that any guy who can't get lucky pretty regular is going on a shooting spree.

I am getting so sick and tired of feminists out there portraying every single being with a dick as a raging Neanderthal, eating freshly killed raw meat, while swigging down a sixpack of Old Milwaukee.

Personally, I doubt most of these feminists have ever been laid at all. And are jealous of those women who occasionally dabble in the delights of the boudoir.

I have never degraded women due to gender, although I admit to (for the most part) thinking of them as 'the weaker sex'. As in physical prowess. I tend to want to protect them and be gently but definitely male. But I have never thought of them as less than myself, merely different. Wonderfully, delightfully, amazingly different.

And I like it that way. The mere thought of cuddling up to a man on a cold night does absolutely nothing for me. If I had to in order to survive, I probably would, but it would not be an enjoyable act and I'd probably make up some story of building fire with a wad of chewing gum than admit to it. There would be no pictures, and I'd deny having done it to my dying days. Whereas the curvaceous warm body of a woman is something I enjoy even on a warm evening.

Have I had sex with more than one woman in my life. Well, not at the same time (damnit!), but yes, I have known the pleasure of a number of women. Please feel free to speculate here. Am I ashamed of this. No. Do I feel a certain amount of pride in my masculine prowess? You bet! To find that I am attractive enough for a woman to be my companion for a night is absolutely flattering, and a helluva ego boost! And although it may be that they just don't want to hurt my fragile little man-feelings, ain't a one of them ever complained. Well, there was that one time on the beach, but it was more due to sand in an irritating spot than me.....

I don't think it was the mere fact that this asshat in California couldn't get laid that made him go off the deep end. He was already on the edge of the gene pool, and used his lack of sexual prowess to validate his insanity. Did he think he was owed sex? Yes. Of course he did. And when he didn't have the cojones to actually woo a member of the fairer gender, his balance shifted and he snapped.

We men, and I'm talking true men, do not think we are owed sex. We earn it. We strive to impress the ladies, beat on our chests, grunt, do all the same shit a silverback gorilla will do in his quest for nookie, and if the object of our desire is willing, we get laid. And if we're really good, maybe we can get some really weird kinky shit too!

And our double X chromosome partner will go tell her girlfriends all about it. Good or bad. So, if we want to get laid more often, we damn well had better be good at it. And its a scientific fact that humans who have more sex give off more pheromones, which attract more of the opposite sex to our bedrooms. Sex is a lot like money: hard to get when you ain't got any, but if you get enough, it tends to take care of itself. At least that's what I've heard, never having enough money to take care of me, much less itself!

Bottom line in my never humble opinion: Men like sex. Women like sex. Sometimes it clicks for one and not the other, sometimes for both, and sometimes for neither. Plus there are certain rules I believe should be followed, at least now that I'm older and supposed to be wiser. If your married, you don't play the field. If she's someone else's spouse, you back the fuck off. And probably number one: If she has a boyfriend, can you take him while you're stark naked, flapping in the breeze when he catches the two of you in flagrante delecti?

So my response to those feminists who think all men are pigs, I say you're right. Some of us may be better at it than others, but we all like sex. Even those faggoty types that like it in a sicko way. So my simple advice to you is: Either go get fucked, or go fuck yourself! There's a reason tab A fits into slot B when it comes time to put the pieces together, and thankfully, most guys don't need to read the instructions for this one. 'Cause you know us guys and instruction manuals......

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