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Sunday, September 22, 2013

Who knew that "Til death do us part" was a goal???

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at
3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your
husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.....

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped
quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50
mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled
up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you
believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started...



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I asked my wife, "Where do you
want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my
heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she
answered.

I then said, "Is that your final
answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time,
simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like
to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight
started....

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