Reposted HERE in its entirety, there are 5 of these I'm making this weekend. You figure out which ones...
Enjoy the videos:
Not the video from the link, but same idea. I couldn't get that one to upload here.
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Friday, March 28, 2014
Friday Tips, Tricks, and Tools (III to III)
Ran across this video at Survival Life. Its a series of seven videos, each demonstrating how to manufacture a different type of self defense apparatus. And of course, by self defense, I mean most of these have the potential to fuck someone up!
Reposted HERE in its entirety, there are 5 of these I'm making this weekend. You figure out which ones...
Enjoy the videos:
Also visit my earlier post on completely nasty man-traps HERE.
Reposted HERE in its entirety, there are 5 of these I'm making this weekend. You figure out which ones...
Enjoy the videos:
Is it just me? (update)
In an earlier post, I mentioned a couple of things. 1. I hate buying a pig in a poke, and 2. Every time I try for a delivery, it gets fucked up beyond all recognition.
I ordered some .22 shorts from Alamo Ammo last Saturday, and when my order showed up on Wednesday, it was .22 long rifle. The company worked with me over their mistake, and Fedexed the correct ammunition that day. Plus after some little debate, I'm keeping the .22 LR.
I've been watching the tracking info religiously, drooling as the time drew nearer and nearer. I last checked between 9:30 amd 9:45 this morning. Package was OUT FOR DELIVERY!
At one o'clock, I checked again. It was shown as Unable to deliver, customer not home.
Now, I got two dogs that bark their fucking asses off if anyone even steps on my porch, much less knocks on the door. The ONLY time ONE of my dogs barked a little this morning was when I, of course, was on the toilet. It took me less than a minute to get to the door, buckling my pants as I went, and there was no one there, no tag on my door, and no package. (Which requires an adult signature for delivery due to being live ammunition.)
I've been on the phone for almost an hour being shunted from one CSR to another, being hung up on, on hold for 10-15 minutes at a time, and the only response I get is "We will try to get ahold of the driver, and attempt to get him to redeliver." Which of course is Fedexeze for "Fuck you."
I won't hold my breath waiting for him, as this only fucks up my ENTIRE evening.
I should have taken Farm.Dad.Bob up on his offer to try to get me some. I'm 100% sure that a man who would make that offer has more integrity than the entire fleet of FedEx drivers who 'say' they attempted delivery.
UPDATE: I take back any denigrating remarks about the drivers! After 2 hours of frustration with FedEx flunkies, the DRIVER called me. He's made a couple of deliveries here, and thought he recognized my name. They'd put the wrong address on the package, but it had my phone number.
(house numbers reversed). I told him the situation, and he brought them by on his way back to the distribution center in Oklahoma City.
That motherfucker is now on my Christmas list!
Update to the update: That little .22 derringer has the accuracy of pissing into a tornado. Anything more than 4 feet, and you might as well just pull out yer dick and wave it at the target. Probably get better results! But it does a fair job at that close range, and that's about all I expected anyway. But talk about LOUD! at least 4X the decibels of my .22LR sixgun.
I ordered some .22 shorts from Alamo Ammo last Saturday, and when my order showed up on Wednesday, it was .22 long rifle. The company worked with me over their mistake, and Fedexed the correct ammunition that day. Plus after some little debate, I'm keeping the .22 LR.
I've been watching the tracking info religiously, drooling as the time drew nearer and nearer. I last checked between 9:30 amd 9:45 this morning. Package was OUT FOR DELIVERY!
At one o'clock, I checked again. It was shown as Unable to deliver, customer not home.
Now, I got two dogs that bark their fucking asses off if anyone even steps on my porch, much less knocks on the door. The ONLY time ONE of my dogs barked a little this morning was when I, of course, was on the toilet. It took me less than a minute to get to the door, buckling my pants as I went, and there was no one there, no tag on my door, and no package. (Which requires an adult signature for delivery due to being live ammunition.)
I've been on the phone for almost an hour being shunted from one CSR to another, being hung up on, on hold for 10-15 minutes at a time, and the only response I get is "We will try to get ahold of the driver, and attempt to get him to redeliver." Which of course is Fedexeze for "Fuck you."
I won't hold my breath waiting for him, as this only fucks up my ENTIRE evening.
I should have taken Farm.Dad.Bob up on his offer to try to get me some. I'm 100% sure that a man who would make that offer has more integrity than the entire fleet of FedEx drivers who 'say' they attempted delivery.
UPDATE: I take back any denigrating remarks about the drivers! After 2 hours of frustration with FedEx flunkies, the DRIVER called me. He's made a couple of deliveries here, and thought he recognized my name. They'd put the wrong address on the package, but it had my phone number.
(house numbers reversed). I told him the situation, and he brought them by on his way back to the distribution center in Oklahoma City.
That motherfucker is now on my Christmas list!
Update to the update: That little .22 derringer has the accuracy of pissing into a tornado. Anything more than 4 feet, and you might as well just pull out yer dick and wave it at the target. Probably get better results! But it does a fair job at that close range, and that's about all I expected anyway. But talk about LOUD! at least 4X the decibels of my .22LR sixgun.
Another sappy post about why I blog
Grog, commenting on my post about that trifle I made for Phil, asked if I had ever met The Vulgar Curmudgeon hisself.
Nope. I ain't never met the guy. But I know he fixes his sister-in-laws car, he's a mechanic who works on massive machinery, he works too many hours for too little pay, and has been working hard his whole life. And has a fancy little sports car he might possibly maybe kinda might get on the road someday.
I know he's honest, except when pulling yer leg. And if you believe it, he's gonna run wif it. If ya hop fast enough, you might catch up.
I know a lot about a lot of folks whose blogs I follow. And I follow them because they are good folk.
There's this absolutely angelic woman in Texas, who will give you her soul before she sees you suffer, claims she is going to be tough next time someone asks her for more than she should give, and then gives it anyway. And cries in silence because she doesn't understand why people can be so cruel.
Know this guy out in California, used to be an Okie, and still picks on 'em, was a rebel in his day, and still seems like the meanest motherfucker out there you don't want to meet. But he takes care of folks he's never met, encourages those who need it, watches out for that lady in Texas (even warns her about guys like me), and if I ever needed REAL help, I'd go to him. Fucker's bull goose crazy!
And they are my family. With my apologies to those who actually believe I'm talking about them, I gotta say:
Family ain't those you share blood with, family is those who would share their blood for you.
And God bless 'em.
III to III
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Nope. I ain't never met the guy. But I know he fixes his sister-in-laws car, he's a mechanic who works on massive machinery, he works too many hours for too little pay, and has been working hard his whole life. And has a fancy little sports car he might possibly maybe kinda might get on the road someday.
I know he's honest, except when pulling yer leg. And if you believe it, he's gonna run wif it. If ya hop fast enough, you might catch up.
I know a lot about a lot of folks whose blogs I follow. And I follow them because they are good folk.
There's this absolutely angelic woman in Texas, who will give you her soul before she sees you suffer, claims she is going to be tough next time someone asks her for more than she should give, and then gives it anyway. And cries in silence because she doesn't understand why people can be so cruel.
Know this guy out in California, used to be an Okie, and still picks on 'em, was a rebel in his day, and still seems like the meanest motherfucker out there you don't want to meet. But he takes care of folks he's never met, encourages those who need it, watches out for that lady in Texas (even warns her about guys like me), and if I ever needed REAL help, I'd go to him. Fucker's bull goose crazy!
And they are my family. With my apologies to those who actually believe I'm talking about them, I gotta say:
Family ain't those you share blood with, family is those who would share their blood for you.
And God bless 'em.
III to III
XenoBabes. Bustednuckles Garage...Service with a smile!
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| Phil's incentive to be a mechanic...Estimated to be circa 1892 |
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Bustednuckle's Garage
A short while ago, I was browsing in Michael's craft store, and came across this:
This is a ceramic, one piece plaque that for some reason just reminded me of Phil, AKA Bustednuckle, over at The Vulgar Curmudgeon.
Well, I'm a cheap bastard, and wasn't gonna pay the price they wanted, when I used to be able to do pretty much anything with wood before I lost my shoulder.
So, I took the above pic, and broke out the ol' scroll saw. I ain't as skilled anymore, but my efforts turned out fairly adequate.
So then I took a pic of my hand, cut out the pertinent fingers and such, and cut it out of some scrap wood. The artistry is simply my poor attempt at creativity, but it did turn out better than I figured I could do. Fucking impressed with myself.
Anyway, Phil posted a photo of it since he received it, so I can post a photo here now. (Didn't want to spoil his first view of it!)
Here 'tis:
Except for the Craftsman 3/4 inch wrench, that's all wood.
I've been waiting for a chance to assert my manhood....(updated)
And having said that: Fuck you, Mr. Poretto: Fuck you. You, Sir, are a cad and a fool. @Liberty's Torch.
I hate to say it, but you have so seldomly gotten laid in life due to your anthropological ideas and Neanderthal attitude, that I personally believe your own gonads have atrophied to the point they are in no danger of being struck regardless of how hard you are kicked. And a blow job? God, man, I doubt you know what one even IS!
How dare you attack Hiswiserangel?! Quite frankly, she is more man as she is then you will ever be, and infinitely more woman than you will ever get.
Good day, Sir.
(I am updating this to ensure that you folks know to read the comments. "Anonymous" wrote a completely illiterate note that I HAD to ensure folks saw, and my response)
Aw, hell. I'm just gonna paste the pertinent comments here:
Anonymous said...
See, now while i moatly agree with your pot, I do think that posting what she did to start things off wasn't too ladylike....nor bright.
She brings a lot of the hat upon herself.
And posting what she did might well be funny to ladies when they are all cuddled up disrespecting men together and feeling superior and all that, but putting it out there in public is gonna get you shit like she got. And I didn't think it was funny.
SHe ain't actin like no lady here...
Xenolith said...
In response to Anonymous:
Your illiterate, almost incomprehensible tirade encourages me that I'm on the right track here.
If YOU, Sir, find fault with this intelligent, educated, delightful lady, who did NOT originate the meme, then it only serves to demonstrate your Paleolithic mindset. If you had been man enough to have posted your name, or better yet, your physical address, I would have been happy to send you a knotted tree branch club, and a magnifying glass to locate your manhood.
And because I fully realize you only understood one out of every 9 words above, let me simplify:
Fuck you, you imbecile.
I hate to say it, but you have so seldomly gotten laid in life due to your anthropological ideas and Neanderthal attitude, that I personally believe your own gonads have atrophied to the point they are in no danger of being struck regardless of how hard you are kicked. And a blow job? God, man, I doubt you know what one even IS!
How dare you attack Hiswiserangel?! Quite frankly, she is more man as she is then you will ever be, and infinitely more woman than you will ever get.
Good day, Sir.
(I am updating this to ensure that you folks know to read the comments. "Anonymous" wrote a completely illiterate note that I HAD to ensure folks saw, and my response)
Aw, hell. I'm just gonna paste the pertinent comments here:
Anonymous said...She brings a lot of the hat upon herself.
And posting what she did might well be funny to ladies when they are all cuddled up disrespecting men together and feeling superior and all that, but putting it out there in public is gonna get you shit like she got. And I didn't think it was funny.
SHe ain't actin like no lady here...
Xenolith said...Your illiterate, almost incomprehensible tirade encourages me that I'm on the right track here.
If YOU, Sir, find fault with this intelligent, educated, delightful lady, who did NOT originate the meme, then it only serves to demonstrate your Paleolithic mindset. If you had been man enough to have posted your name, or better yet, your physical address, I would have been happy to send you a knotted tree branch club, and a magnifying glass to locate your manhood.
And because I fully realize you only understood one out of every 9 words above, let me simplify:
Fuck you, you imbecile.
getting excited
The land deal is looking good. I can't believe it. 50 years old, and I'm finally buying my own piece of this mudball. I have dreamed of this since I was a kid.
I plan to put in a mobile home, probably a piece of crap, and build up from there. I know enough on how to run electric, plumbing, and all the other tasks associated with building an entire house, and as long as the trailer has four sound outer walls, I can make it a comfortable home. I've done it before on land I rented from my nephew, including the junction boxes, complete plumbing, and interior, then when I moved, I left a nice place for someone else to live.
Not this time. I don't care if it takes me all day to put in a socket and run wire to it. I don't get as much done as easily as I used to did before my disability, but I can still do small amounts at a time. And my goal is to be fully solar, and as self sufficient as possible within a year of moving.
I'm psyched! A month ago, in anticipation of buying land somewhere here, I bought a couple of ducks, two geese, 3 rabbits, and 10 chicks. They are all doing well in the little barn style coop I put together, but will VERY soon need more space. This is the perfect place to build permanent cages and runs.
Gardening is going to be a pain in the butt, because I need to clear an area, but I'm sure my big brother will help out with his farm tractor. After all, I bought it for him years ago as a birthday present. Something he'd always wanted, and I had a chance to pay for it working for another guy. The look on his face was worth it!
Did I mention I was psyched?
And let me apologize in advance for the crap I'm gonna post when I move over there. Stupid shit like before and after pictures, garden shots, and baby animals born on 'the farm'. But not to worry: the Babes will continue, as well as my other posts, and I will ALWAYS post 2A and III articles as they come from the voices in my head.
Gotta go pinch myself. I'll be back later!
I plan to put in a mobile home, probably a piece of crap, and build up from there. I know enough on how to run electric, plumbing, and all the other tasks associated with building an entire house, and as long as the trailer has four sound outer walls, I can make it a comfortable home. I've done it before on land I rented from my nephew, including the junction boxes, complete plumbing, and interior, then when I moved, I left a nice place for someone else to live.
Not this time. I don't care if it takes me all day to put in a socket and run wire to it. I don't get as much done as easily as I used to did before my disability, but I can still do small amounts at a time. And my goal is to be fully solar, and as self sufficient as possible within a year of moving.
I'm psyched! A month ago, in anticipation of buying land somewhere here, I bought a couple of ducks, two geese, 3 rabbits, and 10 chicks. They are all doing well in the little barn style coop I put together, but will VERY soon need more space. This is the perfect place to build permanent cages and runs.
Gardening is going to be a pain in the butt, because I need to clear an area, but I'm sure my big brother will help out with his farm tractor. After all, I bought it for him years ago as a birthday present. Something he'd always wanted, and I had a chance to pay for it working for another guy. The look on his face was worth it!
Did I mention I was psyched?
And let me apologize in advance for the crap I'm gonna post when I move over there. Stupid shit like before and after pictures, garden shots, and baby animals born on 'the farm'. But not to worry: the Babes will continue, as well as my other posts, and I will ALWAYS post 2A and III articles as they come from the voices in my head.
Gotta go pinch myself. I'll be back later!
Hey, Wraith!
My bad. I went to publish a comment you made on my post 'this is why I buy my wife flowers' and hit the delete button. Mea Culpa.
If you'd like to resend, I'll make sure to hit the right key this time...
Xeno
If you'd like to resend, I'll make sure to hit the right key this time...
Xeno
I love this shit! (spam)
I enjoy reading my spam comments almost as much as reading comments from my REAL readers! Understanding them, though, sometimes leaves a lot to be desired!
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Guess some folks need to work on their translation apps...
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