I haven't gone a month without a paycheck since I was 16 years old. After being disabled for the last 6 years and having to depend on the US Government for my living, I've been threatened off and on since 2015 of exactly that.
I've always managed to make the trip to the Administration office, sit and wait at their leisure most of the day, explain my points, get someone to actually read my case notes, and get the situation resolved.
And do it all over again in 3 months or so.
Now they tell me my waiver was refused; and I don't remember ever submitting for a waiver!  But apparently among all the questions I've responded to trying to get this resolved, one of the government flunkies was putting the answers in a waiver request.
My appeals process has run out of the number of times I can submit; even though I was never informed I was submitting for an appeal for a waiver I never knew I requested.
It's so much easier to pass the problem along than to fix the problem, all the while telling me to my face that "that should take care of it" and as soon as this gets into "the system", the problem will magically disappear as quickly as it magically appeared to start with.

I only get 1307.00 a month through the charity doled out to me that I PAID for through my sweat and the generous "donation" I've put into it over my lifetime of labor. I never asked to be disabled. I've worked all my life, and it MEANT something. I'd STILL rather work than have to take money from the government. If I were younger when I was shot, I could have probably found a new job. Or if I didn't have the choice of pain pills or debilitating pain that stops me in my tracks. (I take MAYBE three pills a month. I've got an addictive personality, and would rather hurt than be dependent. Hence my disgust at depending on the government...).

I've tried, with Rose working a menial labor job cooking mass meals for a juvenile delinquent group home, to make this place work.

I failed

I've had to come to terms with my failure. My home is in foreclosure, I've sold all my livestock, my garden has gone to weed, my cornfield sits dry in the Oklahoma drought. And I've given up.

I've made arrangements to move to Michigan, where I have my childhood friend (and more than a brother to me) and who has his own small farm, in order to make it easier on BOTH our families. Neither one of us are young anymore, both have our health problems, but our families together can make it where either one alone can't.

Long story here, I know. The bottom line comes to THIS has to be the month the government decided to finally fuck me over. No check coming.

 I need a truck to move my life to Michigan. The generosity in charity from the few readers I still have, and the support of Bustednuckles over at The Vulgar Curmudgeon has been fantastic. People have donated to help me when they don't even know me.
I need 300.00 more by early Monday to give PayPal time to make the transfer to my bank by Wednesday when I'm supposed to pay for the transportation to start another life over.

Yes, I'm begging. I've done enough of it at the Social Security office, you'd think I'd be used to it. I've tried to justify myself here, but it still galls.

PLEASE, even if it's only a few bucks, I have nowhere else to turn. I'd go on the streets if it were just me, but I can't put my wife through that (regardless of the fact she says she would stay beside me if it comes to that).

Thank you.