Sitting together on a train were Pres. Obama, George W.
Bush, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later There is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.
No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the
Blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later There is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.
No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the
Blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.
The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried
To grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled
The old lady and she slapped him.
Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark.
She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel,
So I can slap the shit out of Obama again!!
Stolen from Wirecutter:
A
certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of goat. Within a few weeks the
goat, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination,
the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There
was no male of this species available. While reflecting on their problem, the
zoo administrators noticed Okie Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the
animals’ cages.
Now Okie Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn’t very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female goat. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the goat–for five hundred bucks?
Mike replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over. The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions: “First,” he said, “I don’t want to have to kiss her,” and “Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union.”
The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?
“Well,” said Mike, “You’ve gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks.”
Now Okie Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn’t very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female goat. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the goat–for five hundred bucks?
Mike replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over. The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions: “First,” he said, “I don’t want to have to kiss her,” and “Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union.”
The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?
“Well,” said Mike, “You’ve gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks.”
(Told ya'll Wirecutter like to bust on Okies!)
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