You know how you always have to fill out those damn medical history sheets and shit when you go to a new doctor or dentist. They give you these things to make you think someone is going to read them and carefully insert every word painstakingly into some computer program that will automatically correlate with every computer in the world (think NSA here) and give them a database with which to ensure you the best care in like, EVER!
Here are some of my answers in the past:
M/F?
Yes
Age:
Old
Occupation:
a. Dead beat
or
b. drug lord
Do you smoke?
No, my last shower put it out.
Do you drink?
Duhhh....
I once had to do a 'psychological profile' to determine if I were depressed or not. Really? How easy is it to answer these things? I answered every question with the most optimistic answer available, and at the end, where it asked if I could describe my feelings, I wrote:
Fucking ECSTATIC! I'm happier'n a blind lesbian in an open air fish market!
My doc came in and told me to redo it.....I guess she actually reads this shit...
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