Millie 2.0 and final

Made it through the night again. Ate a little and drank beet juice the first hour. Got weaker as the day went on until she lipped up food, but it just dribbled out.... Did the humane thing. I'll miss her a lot.

Millie 1.0

Still with us. I can't get much water in her, only a drop or two at a time, then she starts spitting it out. She's eating a little. I check her every hour and feed her by hand. She'll eat a mouthful or two, then stops to chew, and she's done until the next hourly check. I have to hold her head up to eat out of my hand because she's laying on her side without enough energy to even lift her head. It's not looking too good, but she's still fighting...

Millie

I don't know how old my nanny goat Millie was when I bought her in 2019. She had just weaned twins when I got her and HATED anyone touching her udders for milking. I had to build a stantion with restraints. Once she'd gotten used to it, she'd jump right up and let me put the leg ties and neck clamp on, and I'd get almost a quart a day from her. Bought a billy goat to breed her. 100 bucks and the rankest animal I've ever owned. And worse, the damn thing loved attention and always tried rubbing up on me. Couldn't get within 10 feet of him without a clothespin. Once Millie gave birth to triplets, I sold Stinky for the same $100 I originally paid for him. Incidentally, the guy that bough him (as a gift for his girlfriend who "always wanted a goat") picked him up with another guy in a two door sporty little car and put Stinky in the back seat. For a TWO HOUR drive home. The bed of the TRUCK I picked him up in smelled for two weeks, and he was only in THAT for 20 minutes! The first born of her triplets, born in March, died about two months ago. Went out to feed them, and he was laying out barely breathing. Got progressively worse and breathing shallower with each breath, so I eventually had to put him our of his misery. I'm guessing he ate something that poisoned him, but I've watched goats eat hemlock and go back for seconds... And two days ago, Millie was out in the middle of the field, entire rear covered in diarrhea, and couldn't stand up. I got her on her feet, gave her diarrhea meds, and she seemed better. Yesterday, same thing. Obviously weaker too. Today I couldn't get her on her feet. I put her in the barn and covered her. Got some antibiotics in her. She's covered and I'm checking her hourly. But she's stopped taking water, so I'm not too hopeful at this point. I know she was sold because she was getting old in the first place, but if I lose her both myself and Rose will miss her terribly. She is the only goat I ever had who went on walks with us. And would bleat terribly if we walked by without taking her with. I know these things happen. But that don't make it hurt less. I'll let y'all know if anything changes...

That's what loving husbands Do...

My wife, Rose, loves birds. As of this morning she has five seed feeders and one suet feeder hanging in various locations in front of our living room/front porch. One of her favorite birds is the flamingo. Which is why we have a line of flamingo lights on our front porch, TWO flamingo themed wind chimes, a fluffy toy flamingo on a porch post, and two tacky plastic pink flamingo yard statues. Yes, THOSE tacky pink yard statues...oh, and a flamingo scrubber holder on the counter and a Christmas flamingo ornament in a Santa hat sitting on a shelf year round! She also enjoys decorating for the holidays. SO FAR, we have pumpkins, a ghost, and a unicorn skeleton out and about lurking in the area. So, as a loving husband, what can I do to combine these two things she loves with my own talents? This:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN Y'All!!!

Cancer free

Just an FYI to anyone that gives a shit. As of last month, and my final of six months of treatment, I no longer have Splenic, Marginal-zone, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. A new monoclonal antibody treatment administered over six months of intravenous, nauseating, high fever inducing, day long ordeals has done the trick... It sucked. But it was overall worth it. The cancer itself didn't bother me as much as the treatments, but would have gotten worse if I'd done nothing, so I ain't complaining. Too much. Also, my spleen was the size of a baby, so it made it hard to breathe, and I couldn't eat much.... Now breathing is better, I can walk across the yard without being out of breath, and I've gained 36 freaking pounds.

Sitrep America

I was in line at the pharmacy in Walmart, waiting patiently with my wife to purchase our monthly doctor-ordered power pills that if we fail to ingest on a regular schedule will cause us to spontaneously decay into a steaming puddle of human based goo, and as a customer in front of us managed to get a loan approved from his bank over the phone to enable him to purchase his own power pills, the little old lady next in front of us and I exchanged a ‘look’ and I commented on the price of meds these days. One thing led to another and we were discussing inflation overall lately and she brought up the fact that it was getting hard to even buy food anymore with its through-the-roof prices. I made a simple little remark: If it gets any worse, I’m gonna hafta start putting democrats on my table just for something to eat. She immediately became somewhat cold shouldered to me and asked if I was a “trumper”. Hmmm…… I DO play a lot of Spades when I can… And I am rather an aggressive player, so I answered her in the only way I could. “No, I’m a Constitutionalist” I’m neither a republican, nor a democrat. I have little or no use for either. I have some respect for Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and a few others that actually are smart enough to bounce enough brain cells together to form a thought, but not because they are republican. I’m even starting to like Sinema and that other guy. And they’re democrats. I just appreciate a politician that is willing to stand up for ‘we the little people’ who make up the majority of this spineless nation. No, I’m not a “trumper”. I did like having Trump in office. He’s an arrogant, rich, self-centered, egomaniacal asshole, but he KNOWS he’s an arrogant, rich, self-centered, egomaniacal asshole. And he’s willing to stand up to the rest of those just like him to defend his right to be that way, and our own (unadmitted) right to strive to be just like him. We don’t need democrats or republicans. We don’t need career politicians who just happen to be VERY lucky in their stock dealings, (I’m looking at YOU Pelosi!), making millions off the backs of their political clout. We don’t need politicians whose family name is used to sell out our country. We don’t need a green new deal. Go plant a fucking tree if you’re that concerned about it. Fuck you, Thunberg! Every time I exhale, a plant says thank you! You want a greenhouse? Keep breathing. Plants love it! We don’t need a two party system. We needed the TeaParty. But the two party system that keeps us separated and at each others throat couldn’t allow that to happen. Americans would have been sitting around a campfire, roasting marshmallows for s’mores, and singing Kumbaya if they let that happen. So who hears about the TeaParty anymore? Nope. Not a good idea. Wouldn’t be prudent, at this juncture. The democrats NEEDED to hate Trump. Left to his own devices, he might have been able to unite these United States. Here’s a Xenolith Challenge. And I DARE TicToc to copy me: If you’re a republican, go hug a democrat. If you’re a democrat, say something nice to a republican. I DARE ya. Maybe we can come together before its too late. And if ANYONE knows why paragraphs are inserted in the draft and disappear in the actual posting, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me how to fix this FUCKING SHIT!

an apology (of sorts...)

I started blogging not completely out of boredom. Not out of a need to be heard because my thoughts were deep and world changing. I started it out of frustration with my own personal place in the world. I was newly crippled (NOT handicapped!) and was being treated by society as no longer worthy of contributing. I was frustrated. No longer able to support my family physically, and with no “paper” proof of my learning, I was cast aside and treated as a drain on the material reserves of humanity. I found myself with ample time to read, and fell into reading the thoughts of others. I started following blogs. Not just ANY blog. No. I read the thoughts of some of the greats: Wirecutter, The Lonely Libertarian, and my all time favorite BustedNuckles of the Vulgar Curmudgeon and now BustedNuckles.com. Not to mention the various others out there who I follow. (Insert plug for some good ones I follow on the front page of my blog here…heheh) As I read these scions of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, I would occasionally find a chord struck within my own breast, yearning to be free. (Or at least heard) And I would respond. Eventually, some of these thoughts would resonate with these blog authors, and they would pass on my nuggets of knowledge. Or made up bullshit, whichever I had felt compelled to share on that particular instance. And I was encouraged to start a blog. So I did. This one. Originally, I set out to create the best blog out there. One that would have to be read by millions to learn at the feet of a master and unlock the mysteries of the universe. And as I had nothing else to do, recuperating from a gun shot wound, I dedicated a great deal of my time to it. It grew. And I became moderately successful as a blogger. Then Life interfered. I became more able to work around my pain and find ways to do more. I quit blogging so much. Now, looking back, I remember how angry I was. With my personal situation. With how unfair it was my life changed in seconds from an ‘up and comer’ to a cripple. And with our government. I was getting older and paying attention to how our country was run and finding myself disgusted with the elites. I wanted to change the world. I wanted to join the community of bloggers and ‘resistance fighters’ out there who were also dissolutioned by our government for ‘the people’ being governments for themselves. But then My Life started improving. I became more intested in building my own life, and slowly and inevitably, my blogging disappeared. Gone was the intensity of my angst. Anger no longer fueled by my worthlessness disolving in the desire to overcome all odds and perservere. I became complacent. The end of part one. Begin part two. I am ashamed. So many have helped me in my time(s) of need. I took the aid and the help of generous others and overcame all adversity. Knowing full well that having to surmount these obstacles alone I would have succumbed to the challenges. And then promptly ignored all those who aided me. So I humbly ask for your forgiveness. I am no less arrogant and prideful as ever, but do fervently wish to acknowledge the many who have let me make it this far. I would do so individually, but there are too many to list. Some no longer have contact with me, nor I them, and some have, sadly and to my great regret, shuffled off this mortal coil and are no longer among us. One way to show my appreciation would be to blog more often for those who find my words of some passing interest and worth the few minutes it takes to read them. But I wonder? What was it that made me want to blog in the first place? Certainly not my incapacities. Typing at that stage was a chore in and of itself. Boredom? Certainly A reason, but not THE reason. A good book to this day will take my mind off reality into any realm I care to choose. Why be a bored, pained cripple when I can sail the seas with Captain Kidd or run the forests as a beastman on the hunt? I am comfortable in my life now. I live on a small farm, had a good if not great harvest from my small garden, am warm, well fed, and have a loving wife who makes my coffee and cooks wonderful meals. My dogs like me, and I even have a rooster that follows me around and takes treats from my hand. Why would I stop to blog? ESPECIALLY since I STILL can't get this damn thing to format and put new paragraphs in!!!! Because of YOU. Yes, you. Even now, after so long not blogging enough to make up a paragraph a week, someone will comment on one of my blog posts. Or drop a note saying they miss me. It is the fellowship of the ring, modern style. It is we few who in a small way make a difference. I feel empowered by those of you who CARE. In a world where its every politician for himself, where fame is counted more worthy than compassion, where a common criminal can be a hero for dying due to his own lawlessness and not for doing good deeds, it is those of us who are willing to share our hearts, our souls, and our meager thoughts, that can make the difference. Without bloggers like those who inspired me when my life was more draining than fulfilling, those I mentioned above and those many I didn’t, that gave me back my own life. Literally. And if my ramblings and rationalizations have helped one person out there, made even an insignificant overall difference in a person’s life that to them seems meaningful, I have a reason. So let’s hope I’m not full of shit. Let us now gather in harmony, peace, love, and other words of platitude and puissance, and gracefully go about our day looking forward to another blog post from that all time great; Xenolith! Please stand by….

Interesting shit

Or maybe not. Catchy title though, huh? I know I haven't posted a lot for quite some time. Seems like not a lot had happened by my way of viewing it. Just little shit like moving to the east side of Michigan, Moop dying, goats having babies, getting rid of cancer... just a lot of stupid little shit that hardly seems to me even worth mentioning.... And blogger even seems against me. Things have changed around in this program and I can't seem to get it to even start new paragraphs... Like this one. Or here. I swear I put in a pagebreak on BOTH those last sentences, but does it show up? Not even in the preview. Much less the final result. Maybe I'll figure it out. Or maybe I'll just continue on with one long, run on paragraph... Tomorrow maybe I'll send a blurb about my car trip too the west side today. Nothing too thrilling though, so we'll have to see. Xeno out

Trapped

For at least the last three days, the mosquitos have been HORRENDOUS! They were bad before that, but you literally cannot look at any space in the air two foot by two foot that doesn't contain ten or more of the flying bastards. And when you walk through them, every one attacks. Plus the hundreds more hiding in the grass along with them. The hum from their tiny wings in your ears is the only sound you can hear, and you have to continuously fan in front of your face to avoid inhaling them or breathing them into your nose. Meanwhile you can feel them biting on you're hands, neck, and any other exposed flesh. I've never looked forward to winter IN MY LIFE, but will gladly cut wood to burn to try to stay warm beginning tomorrow if it means I can have surcease from their torture! And forget about trying to cut wood NOW. Going into the woods is a thousand times worse than just walking across the field to water the goats or close up the chickens for the night!

Trapped in my own house by BUGS. Its like Covid with sucking mouth parts...

Dear Anonymous

So, I'm sitting here minding my own business, and all of a sudden, I get an email telling me I haven't posted anything here in awhile from someone named Anonymous. And I look back and see that the last thing I posted was back in November last year. And THAT was a political puff piece.... Well, thanks to Anonymous, I realize that there are some lost souls out there still wondering if I'm alive or not, so here's an update. This little farm Rose and I live on has been GREAT! I have two male and two female rabbits, Flemish Giant/New Zealand mixed from last years babies, and the two females are both due any day now. I'll keep two and two and either sell the adults along with any extra babies, or put them in my freezer. Probably sell them as even though I have no problem eating farm animals, I'd rather not if I have other options. I'm on my second set of chickens. Just got rid of the last bunch because they were eating eggs almost as fast as they were laying them. Started fresh with 7 leghorns and 20 black Austrolorps. Thanks to hawks around here, I'm down to 4 leghorns and 12 Austro's, but they are big enough now that the hawks have been leaving them alone.

My garden did better than I expected, though not as well as I'd hoped. So far I've gotten about 4 quarts of tomatoes, Roma and San Marzano sauce types, which Rose has made into some FANTASTIC spaghetti sauce! Going to put some pints up tomorrow if I get my butt going... Only one beefsteak tomato ripened so far, but a LOT more green ones getting big.

The first pic is my 16x8' garden and the second pic is my wife's white pumpkin. Yes, white pumpkin. I know, but she likes them, so I grew one... I also put a greenhouse up to get an early start on the years gardens, and to keep my tropical herbs; ginger, turmeric, pineapple plant, and kiwi alive over the winter.

Corn kinda fell over during some MASSIVE storms we had here. My landlord/neighbor had his three cars parked in front of his house and a tree there broke in the storm and totalled his truck and electric car, and dented in the top of his wife's car while shoving a branch through the sun roof. Good times!

Next to the greenhouse is my herb garden. Lots of different mints, Spearmint, Peppermint, Catnip, Chocolate mint, Mojito mint. That's dill hanging over on the right side. I have borage, sage, oregano, celery, lemon balm, lemon basil, purple basil, thyme, marjoram, stevia, and yarrow growing well there. A few weeds and grass, too. But with my cancer, I just haven't been able to keep it up as well as I'd have liked, nor a garden as big as I wanted. Speaking of which, I don't know if I mentioned my cancer ever before on this blog. But if I haven't, I HAD splenic marginal zone Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Long name to say my white blood cells never grew up and my spleen was the approximate size of Newark. Been getting a MonoClonal Antibody treatment. Not quite chemo, but feel just as shitty afterward. Six monthly treatments and the first few had my temp up to 103 and pure misery. But I'm feeling MUCH better NOW.... Seems the treatment did what treatment is supposed to do, and I'm getting back to myself. Cancer free for the first time in over ten years. Still no real energy, but my spleen is spleen sized now, and I can breathe without feeling like my lungs are mouse sized from being cramped anymore. Which means I can walk more than ten feet without being winded so much. And on a side note: Ever noticed how all the medication commercials on TV, if you look at the product name, instead of the marketing name, half of them end in MAB now? That stands for MonoClonal Antibody. The biggest breakthrough since penicillin. Soon everyone will want one... My dog Moop is gone. Internal problems. Pooped out his intestines. Not pretty. I'm still looking for another medium pal since he's been gone, but figure the right one will show up when its time. Scooter is still kicking. And still think he owns the place... I lost a sister to Covid after my brother... I wish we had been closer, but she was a lot older than me and we never bonded as much as my siblings closer to my age. Well, Anonymous, I just heard the oven alarm go off, which means my chocolate cake Rose is making me is done. I have to go bug her to get it frosted. (and yes I know it has to cool off, but its more fun to bug her...) Take care of yourselves, those of you who are reading this. Life is too short to spend it eating broccoli when there's cake involved...